Otherwise titled: How something as simple as a Magnolia patterned china set taught me not to deprive myself of the little joys in life…. And spurred me into finally making a new d@%&d blog already.
Two months ago my Husband and I were walking through the Flea Market one Sunday morning when I stumbled across a vendor selling a complete 4 serving China set for $40. I fell in love with it’s beautiful Peony print instantly, turned it over, snapped a picture of the stamp and moved on; eventually, I told myself. But not right now. Not today.
Fast forward to about three weeks ago when we were walking through our favorite Antique Mall. Once again I stumbled across a beautiful China set for $40- this time a full 8 serving set with a Magnolia Print. Once again I fell in love with it. Once again I turned it over and snapped a picture of the stamp… And once again I walked away with the same old tired promise of eventually.
It’s a habit of mine every time I find nice china- whether that’s a Teacup or a Table Setting. In fact, it’s happened so many times that I can’t even begin to conceive of the true number of China sets I’ve passed up over the years. And each time it’s the same; I ooh and ahh and swoon and coo over how pretty it is… And then inevitably something within me says “not right now”.
So I flip it over, search for the stamp, snap a quickie, and promise myself that I’ll look up the pattern number eventually- because eventually I’ll be in a place where it’s worth getting a china set. Eventually I’ll have done something to deserve it.
You know… When we’re out on our farm and I’m finally living that perfect Homesteader life that my Husband and I have plans for.
When I have a proper Dining Room and can host a proper Dinner Party without our guests sitting on the floor in my less-than-200-square-foot living room, lovingly mauled by every animal in our house.
When I have cabinets that will actually close and I don’t have to worry about my Cats knocking all the dishware out of them because they decided the container of Coffee Beans smelled good at 2 am while everyone was sleeping.
Except that Magnolia set stuck with me this time- and while doing dishes two days later I decided that I was tired of eventualies.
Part of it was influenced by Dita Von Teese and her philosophy that “Glamour is for everyone, every day”… Part of it was spawned by a Tumblr post I read ages ago, about how you shouldn’t save things for “Special Occasions”- a sentiment that echoes the above comment by a user responding to Damn Girl, Get Your Shit Together’s post about Dehumanizing Yourself)… Part of it was inspired by my friend Nat and her unquenchable, absolutely unapologetic love of luxury.
My philosophy in a nut shell (which I have a feeling might elicit a defeated sigh from a few of you): Burn your goddamn candle.
You have beautiful candles that you purchased because you love them. But you don’t burn them because…well, because they were expensive, or one of a kind, or you are saving them for a special occasion.
It just doesn’t make sense to me. So I save my beautiful, smelly candles for that special occasion and die tomorrow? I just deprived myself of pumpkin spice bliss and a cozy, dimly lit room for years on end for what?
But the real straw that finally broke the camel’s back that day was me just being plain exhausted with always wanting things but always telling myself no for dumb reasons that, in retrospect, make no sense.
Why shouldn’t I have pretty things? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the things that make me happy? Why should I save that bottle of Champagne for a rainy day? Or ration my fancy Tea that I had flown in all the way from France? Why should I have to wait to have a dining room to have nice China? Why should I deprive myself? Because in essence, that’s exactly what I’m doing.- and jumping Moses on a pogostick, it is so exhausting.
So I turned off the water, put the dish in the drainer, walked into the living room, and announced to my Husband in no uncertain tones that I wanted that Magnolia Patterned China Set. After all, we had the money and it was a great deal.
He told me no.
Now I’m a spoiled Woman, I’ll admit; my Husband’s language of love is Gifts and he ain’t got the backbone to tell me no. He absolutely hates doing so and only ever does if there’s a damned good reason for it in his mind. And usually I’m really good about accepting it. I mean, I’m spoiled but I’m not a brat; I’m a practical Woman and I tell myself no enough on the daily that it doesn’t bother me.
But in those 10 minutes I was dong the dishes and ruminating about gold leaf rimmed China bowls I’d worked myself up about it so much I must’ve looked like someone’d just murdered my dog right in front of me when he said it then; my Husband’s face immediately took on that panicked look it does when he thinks he’s even remotely hurt me in some way and he fumbled around to put down his game controller as fast as possible… At which point he promptly, sheepishly, informed me that he’d planned on getting it for me as my Christmas Gift this year.
There was a tangible silence in the room for a hot minute before we both cracked up laughing hard as can be about it. Two weeks later we picked it up, and I’ve never been happier.
But I also felt that china set creep into my mind in other ways, too… Like my blog; I found myself thinking about how much I’d come to actually hate my blog and what it’d become.
So I decided that if I was done waiting on eventualies in regards to China sets, then I was going to stop waiting for eventualies in other areas of my life too- starting with the blog. And on a whim at midnight without my Husband to talk some sense into me, A Sweet and Delicate Thing was finally gone after three long years of hard work- and Yes, Little Hummingbird? was born.
The moral of the story (if you’re into that sort of thing) is this: Whatever it is that you want to do with your life… Whatever it is that brings you joy… Stop waiting around for the eventuallies. Just do it; open that bottle of Champagne, book the Cruise, and just say fuck it.
If there’s one thing that doesn’t belong in your life? It’s depriving yourself of the little things that bring you joy. After all, we only live once- and Spaghetti O’s really do taste better out of fine china, and so do Cornflakes.
Semi-obligatory side note: Just… You know… Don’t be irresponsible about it and stuff. Realism and practicality are still virtues in life, after all, and they shouldn’t be thrown out with the path water.
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